


Remember Me

by Krashing_Starz



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Dark Side, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Gen, Orange side mention, So here we are, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Virgil is leaving the dark sides, and i needed to draw an animatic to it, but alas, but i can (hypothetically) write, i cannot draw, i was listening to a cover of remember me, let remus sew 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krashing_Starz/pseuds/Krashing_Starz
Summary: When Virgil left the others he didn't do it without his own inner battles.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 54





	Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> What's up. I'm posting this on my phone so it'll probably be really be badly formatted, yell at me for it. It's my first ever fanfiction! I have more coming soon so get ready. I was listen to a cover of remember me by annapantsu and this came to mind. Enjoy!

**Remember me**

**Though I have to say goodbye**

Virgil stared at the others. He had long since left the cuddle pile but he still longed to slip back in and stay there, warm and protected. That was how he felt ever since he had exited his room.

Remus had tackle hugged, refusing to let go for a few minutes. When he was done Janus had come over and hugged him, summoning his other arms, squeezing tight. Even _He_ had hugged him. When they were all finished hugging Virgil they had announced a movie night with the promise of talking things out tomorrow. Of course, it wasn’t a promise, it was an offer. “Get your thoughts in order, when you’re ready, come find us.”

Virgil had been smothered in blankets and Remus refusing to be let go. A cup of hot chocolate was shoved into his hands and a sad movie had been put on, if only for the fact it was an excuse to cry. Usually, by the third or fourth movie, Virgil would spill. Tears by then having ruined his makeup and sobs choking up his sentence, but he hadn’t spoken by the tenth movie and _He_ was starting to fall asleep on Vigil’s shoulder, halfway through the 11th movie Janus had been out cold, and by the end of the 12th even Remus had fallen asleep, leaving only Virgil awake.

That had been when he slipped out of the pile and onto the armchair across from them. That was when he lost that warmth and protection.

**Remember me**

**Don't let it make you cry**

Virgil stuck his hands into his pockets letting him think of that object he had banished from his mind. Pulling out the card Patton made he looked it over once more. _Ur Fam-ILY_ it read. Virgil had looked it over what felt like a hundred times by now, and yet, every single time, the same sharp stabbing pain he felt was there, as if it was the first time he ever saw it.

It felt like betrayal. Being called someone else’s family when he had one right there. He should put the card back in his room and crawl right back into his spot in the middle. He should talk to the others and let them know what happened. And yet he grabbed his phone that had been so unceremoniously shoved onto the coffee table by Remus when he tried to scroll on Tumblr.

Turning it on he clicked on the photos icon. Scrolling through his photos he smiled. There were photos from when Remus had stolen his phone and used it to record pranking Janus. There were photos of Janus’s baking adventures that made Virgil’s stomach growl. There were pictures of the time Remus and him had pranked _Him_. There was a ten-minute video of Janus going on about how the electoral college was shit.

This was his family. Messy, loud, unforgiving, energetic. So why was a Dad, a Teacher, and a Prince so enticing? Especially since 24 hours ago at least one of them would willingly admit to not liking him?

Virgil paused on one photo. This one was taken by Janus. It was a movie night, not unlike this one. Remus had run into his brother in the imagination and was having a hard time. They had put on movies and handed around snacks until they all fell asleep. Janus had been the last to fall asleep and wanted to take a picture of this accidentally grabbing Virgil’s phone.

The selfie contained a softly smiling Janus, his hat off and hair all messed up. 4 of the 6 arms were out the three that weren’t taking a photo hugging the rest of them. Remus was clutching _Him_ to his chest, a trail of drool coming from his mouth. _His_ face was obscured from view by Virgil’s arm, who was sprawled across both Remus and Him. he was wearing his black plaid hoodie although his make up was scrubbed off.

Virgil didn’t even realize he was crying until tears hit his phone. Scrubbing them off Virgil took a deep breath. Glancing once more at the others, the card, and the photo, Virgil got up making his decision.

**For ever if I'm far away**

**I hold you in my heart**

**I sing a secret song to you**

**Each night we are apart**

Virgil sighed as soft tunes filled his ears. In his room once more he grabbed a backpack and started filling it. Starting with the necessities and moving over to his sentimental objects. He picked up a picture Remus had drawn. It was of Virgil murdering Roman, and it was one of his most prized possessions. Of course, if Roman saw it he’d probably throw a hissy fit on how he’d been drawn. After a moment of debation, he put it back, not wanting to risk being kicked out so soon.

Instead, Virgil grabbed a picture off his desk. It was a photo of the aftermath of the first time Virgil had shown himself to Thomas. Janus had cleared out the kitchen for a solid hour and came out with a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and purple lettering. “Congrats Virgil!” It read. Virgil was outright grinning in it and he didn’t look totally ugly. It was his favorite photo and he couldn’t leave it behind. Shoving it in his bag he took a few other photos and pictures drawn by Remus he couldn’t bear to be parted with. He turned to his bed where he spotted something.

On it was a gift-wrapped package with a white envelope on top. Picking up the letter he paused for a moment before opening it up. It was written in Janus’s handwriting.

_Dearest Virgil,_

_I know things have been tough lately, and I have a hard time showing my love but I wanted to tell you just how important you are to me. I’m aware you aren’t a fan of my plans but you always support me and give me advice on how to improve them, even if it isn’t always the best. You help Remus when he misses Roman and Him when he is having one of his fits. Even beyond what you help out with you are simply you. I know the “lights” have been giving you a hard time but you truly are one of the most important pieces of Thomas. When you enter a room and immediately give Remus the stink eye and he returns it with his own. When you steal cookie dough when I’m baking. (Yes, I am aware of this) When you and Him have your prank wars that eventually extend to the rest of us. You are there and you are you. I’m sorry it took us this long to realize you were suffering, but I promise it will never happen again._

Janus’s name was scrawled in perfect calligraphy at the bottom and Virgil felt his heart give a tug. Putting it back down he picked up the package. The gift wrap was orange with green accents and on top of it was an orange post-it note with a little heart. Most likely _He_ had wrapped it up and placed it here with the letter from Janus.

Tearing open the package Virgil gasped as he held up the item. It was one of his old hoodies, he had gotten a large tear in the side of one of the sleeves. It was fixed up by sloppy stitches, no doubt by Remus. However, the best thing was plaid purple patches had been sewn onto it. On the right, a storm cloud decal had been added.

Virgil teared up again holding the hoodie close to his chest. Slowly as to not wrinkle anything up he folded it up and put the orange sticky note on it along with the letter before gently placing it on top of everything else in his bag.

He could imagine Remus, sitting by his door. Stressed out and using sewing as a healthy outlet. Finding where his old hoodie was and fixing it up. Summoning up some more thread and fabric to add to it. Janus there next to him. Worrying, no doubt having stress baked already. Picking up a pen and a piece of paper, writing out his emotions ready to throw the letter away when Virgil came out of the room and told them what was going on. Remus always thought his projects were trash when he finished and looked them over, no doubt having planned to toss the hoodie out and Janus having finished sealing up the letter when Virgil came out of his room. _Him_ taking their stuff and wrapping it up, putting where he knew Virgil would see it. _His_ “I love you,” silent but there.

**Remember me**

**Though I have to travel far**

Virgil zipped up his bag and threw it over his shoulder gently closing the door. He walked back down the hall to the commons. While he was there he paused in front of each of their doors. Remus’s green chipped paint door, adorned with a sign written in chicken scratch that said “Keep out! >:(” with blood stains. His door, a dull faded orange. Janus’s, black with gold accents, easily the most well kept door compared to Remus’s paint chipped, His faded, and Virgil’s squeaky doors.

Along the wall were pictures. _Him_ out in daylight, back towards the camera. Remus, not even 16 yet, the start of a mustache forming holding a picture drawn in blood. Janus intently frosting a cake for who knows what occasion. Virgil, headphones on, a look of pure euphoria, no doubt when he found out about My Chemical Romance. The four of them, smile, hands thrown over each other’s shoulders.

Powering his way past the rest of the photos, not wanting to start crying again Virgil turned into the commons. There they lay, in the same position Virgil left them. All in a pile with an opening from where Virgil left them. Tearing his eyes away Virgil turned into the kitchen digging around until he found a pad of paper and a pen. Walking back over he leaned on top of the counter and started to write.

**Remember me**

**Each time you hear a sad guitar**

_Dear Everyone,_

_I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to say it. I got your letter Janus and your hoodie Remus, thanks you guys. I assume that_ He put _them there so thank you for that dude. I don’t know what will happen next, but I know where I need to go. I will come back, I promise. I don’t know when, hopefully it will be soon. I just want to let you know that you all didn’t do anything and I just need to, I dunno, try something out. I love you all, and I’ll see you soon._

_Virgil_

Virgil stared at the letter. He wanted to explain more, he wanted to tell them about how the others had came and talked him out of ducking out, how Roman apologise and told him how good he was doing, how Logan showed just how much he was needed, about how Patton gave him a space to exist with them, but he couldn’t. He was already fighting back tears and if he wrote any more surely he would end up crying and wake up the others.

Tearing off the letter from the pad of paper he folded it into thirds and walked over to the table, gently placing it down where everyone should be able to see it.

**Know that I'm with you**

**The only way that I can be**

After a moment's hesitation Virgil turned back. Sighing, he dug through his bag until he found what he was looking for. A photo of the other three.

Remus was grinning maniacally at the camera arms thrown around the other two tentacles out. Janus was on his left trying and failing to give an unimpressed look, a grin coming through instead, he had all of his arms out, two of the left were hugging the others, the last one was pushing off one of Remus’s tentacles. One of his right arms was pushing his hat down, another was hiding his face and the last one was pushing another one of Remus’s tentacles away. _He_ was smiling brightly at the camera for once partially visible, just enough to see his smile and his right eye just as bright as his smile.

It was Virgil’s favorite photo of all, even more than the one of the cake Janus made. They all knew it was off limits, so hopefully by leaving it here they would get the idea that he truly would return, even if it was just for a photo. He placed it next to the letter glancing up at the others. He’d miss them, but he had to leave.

Silently Virgil turned off the TV, rearranged the pillows and blankets, headed back into the kitchen to grab one of the cookies Janus made. Looking once more at the others, a swirl of emotions in his stomach. He sighed and focused. Appearing in the other’s commons he collapsed onto the couch falling asleep immediately.

**Until you're in my arms again**

**Remember me**

Janus woke up first, surprised to find himself hugging Remus. Didn’t he fall asleep next to _Him_ and Virgil. Rubbing his eyes he noticed Virgil was missing from the cuddle pile. Weird. Stretching he reached for his hat on the table when his hand brushed against it. A photo. Bringing it up Janus looked at it. He knew perfectly well what photo it was, what was it doing out here? Looking back at the table he noticed a folded piece of paper. Picking it up he unfolded it and started to read it. When he finished he put it down on his lap in disbelief. Virgil wouldn’t… would he?

Janus pushed himself off the couch searching for Virgil, surely he wasn’t _there_ , surely he wasn’t with _them_. And yet, he couldn’t find Virgil. Collapsing back onto the couch Janus looked at the other two, blissfully unaware of Virgil leaving. Looking at the note once more tears started streaming down his face, taking in the information he was hating.

Virgil wasn’t leaving.

Virgil had left.

**Author's Note:**

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